I've debated about posting this because I didn't want to offend anyone, hurt anyone's feelings, or make anyone afraid to talk to me. (ha ha) But, here I am, unable to sleep once again, possibly PMSing, or just needing to get it out. Whatever the reason, I have decided to post this. After all, I started this blog to help me deal with my emotions.
Whenever there is a tragedy, people try desperately to say the right things. They are well intentioned, sometimes painstakingly thought out comments. However, to a person in a crisis, they often rub him/her the wrong way. Here are some of my personal favorites.
"It could have happened with you there." No, NO, NO! Lots of other things may have happened or may happen yet, but not that! I NEVER let him loose in a parking lot. EVER!
"It was one of those split second things." No, it really wasn't. He was just standing there. In fact, the police report says he was 8 feet behind the van, just standing. He had time to walk 8 feet and just hang out in the parking lot for who knows how long.
"Kids will be kids." What do I say to that? That's why adults have to be adults! He didn't break free from someone's grasp and take off running, (see previous notes).
"You've got to let go and turn him over to God."
What?? No, I don't! I can't be irresponsible and just trust that God will take care of everything. It really irritates me when people think I should just "move on". It's not that easy. When you trust your instincts, and they fail you, it makes it very difficult to ever trust them again.
"What are the odds of something bad happening again." Well, what are the odds that your kid gets run over in the middle of the day in a preschool parking lot? Pretty slim, but it happened to us.
While I may sound unforgiving, I'm really not. But just because I forgive someone, it does not make them blameless. Does that make sense? Heck, I blame myself for this even though I wasn't there!
I read once, "Forgiveness is like setting a prisoner free, and realizing you were the prisoner." I have to forgive. I have no other choice.