Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The accident

The accident.  That's what I call it.  Truman's accident.  Time now has a new dimension for us...instead of BC and AD, everything is before "the accident" or after "the accident".  Although I know that this was an accident, it seems as if it should have a different name because so many aspects of it could have been easily prevented.  It's as if everything had to line up the wrong way that day in order for this to happen.  I am so thankful to God for healing my son, but I have to question Him.  Why did this have to happen?
Today I took Truman back to the scene of "the accident".  I thought it would be good for him to see his friends and his preschool teachers, and to have them see him looking so much better.  It made me so sad.  Not in the way that you might expect -picturing "the accident", the chaos, my little boy's rescue, etc.  While those things definitely went through my mind, what sadden me the most was the fact that Truman doesn't get to go there anymore.  He was so happy with his babysitter and her family.  Her daughter and Truman were basically like siblings.  He had his own room at her house with his name on the door.  He loved playing with all the kids at preschool, reading books, learning, making crafts to bring home for the refrigerator.  I feel like all of that happiness and peace has been ripped from us.  As much as I would like to rewind and live in the BA (before "the accident") era, I'll never be able to do that.  Everything has changed. Everything!  And that makes me fact, it makes me angry.

No comments: